The Foundamentals

There are so many books, articles, and websites that share what they believe to help couples have a more successful marriage. I, myself, am not married so I do not have any personal experience, but I have read a lot and learn much advice from those around me and from what I have read. I want to start by quoting President Spencer W. Kimball. He said." While marriage is difficult, and discordant, and frustrated marriages are common, yet real. lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person." I LOVE this quote. President Kimball doesn't say that if your marriage is hard or has problems, than it is an issue. No, he says that marriage will be difficult and there will be problems, but there will also be so much happiness, more than we can even comprehend.

Marriages that last have strong commitment between the husband and wife. This may seem like an obvious concept, but many couples struggle with this. Many people go into marriage naive and do realize they frustrations and problems that will eventually come. This frustrations and problems that come will test your commitment and make you either turn away or turn towards each other. When trouble comes to couples who are in a covenant marriage, they work through their problems and give each other 100%.

Husbands and wives have a duty to love and care for each other. A husband and wife should be able to rely on their partner when they are struggling and going through difficult times. President Ezra Taft Benson said," To my knowledge there is only one other thing in all scripture that we are commanded to  love with all our hearts and that is God Himself. Think what that means!"God wants us to love our partner with all our might because He knows how sacred and important marriage is on this earth and thereafter. When there is a deep love and respect for your partner, there is a deeper understanding of ones feelings and overall more patience.  A happy marriage is founded upon friendship. You need to be able to enjoy each other's company and have that foundation of a friendship to be able to build upon on it. Once you have that friendship, than the romance can come in and help further and progress the relationship.

Why Date?

I do not know how many times I have heard someone say "oh we are just hanging out" in response to someone asking them if they are dating. Suddenly the term 'dating' has become replaced with 'hanging out'. I remember having a conversation with a good friend of mine and I asked him how he starts dating someone. He says it usually starts out by hanging out with the girl either at her apartment or his apartment a lot. Then after a couple weeks of doing that, and realizing that they like each other, he will finally ask her out on a date. He said he is much more comfortable just hanging out doing nothing with that person instead of planning and taking the girl on a date. I was so annoyed! This is the problem with a lot of guys nowadays and I know girls that are okay with this too. Guys wait until they have really gotten to know the girl before he makes his decision to ask her on a date. Because asking a girl on a date is this huge commitment and means you want to  marry them right? WRONG!
Guys need to get in their head that going on a lot of dates with a lot of girls is actually preparing them for marriage! According to study done by Glen and Marquardt, "Only 50 percent of college women reported that they had been asked out on six or more dates, and a third said they had been asked on two or fewer dates."

There are a lot of positives to asking girls on dates and it shows a lot about the guys character. For one, it shows that he has commitment. Asking a girl out in advance and planning the date is showing the girl that he is taking his time, energy and is committed to showing her a nice night. It also shows other qualities such as being the protector, being able to provide, and preside. Things that are important to a girl! I feel like our dating culture has turned into dating only those who you see yourself being romantically involved with. This is so wrong! Guys and girls need to be going on dates with all sorts of people. This not only helps you get to know more people but it also helps you get closer to finding the person you want to marry.

So basically... GO ON DATES!